Saturday, June 19, 2010

Focus




I have been swamped. buried. overwhelmed. unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel. barely keeping it together. a very wobbly house of cards.

But now, this Saturday morning at 8 a.m. I able finally able. to. focus.

Let me first say that I recognize I am preaching to the choir. In fact, I had a draft of this blog post sitting in a folder. I had written it for me as I thought it would be cathartic and I had hoped to spare you my grumblings. No such luck. But today I feel lighter and have more perspective so let's hope this turns to more of an observation post than a rant.

Back to my "preaching to the choir" comment--I know that many of you are working mamas, pregnant ones, authors, training for marathons, raising handfuls of kids, going back to school, dealing with major life crises and sincerely just trying to get the drive to rise out of bed in the morning. So trust me--I know I am not alone.  Unfortunately.

OK, let me start with the To Do List which is where it all began. And I am leaving out any k PR work needs because honestly...

Draft Neighborhood Association Update (but really--who cares about the new playground bark and parking guidleines anyway!?)

Find new mobile coffee cart for end of year Hospitality Committee event (for school event in 3 days that has been publicized for 3 months and the person just cancelled).

Pitch local TV, radio, print media about Middle School Math Students Homemade Canoes/ Races (I assist the girls school with PR because I love the place. madly. and because I am crazy.)


Send out Room Parent reminder notice about teacher gift $ and end of the year party (does it really take parents 3 emails and 2 handwritten notes to turn in $18?)



Hosptality Committee Overview (debrief the Mentoring Committee on how we created the Hospitality Committee this year and our guidance for them). A little over committed at the girls school you think?


End of Year Party for First Grade - how I got on this committee I do not know. I was NOT on 4th grades though and I did not even bring in one.single.thing. My $15 donation should have sufficed.


Father/Daughter Dance- not sure how I got roped in to this committee either. Yes, I have a daughter. Yes, they have a father. The woman with the 'vision' for the dance happens to have a child who is one of Audrey's BFs at school. But my husband was not even in town so as I set up and broke down Fri/Sat nights for the dance and I also was the Father at the ball. I had a major meltdown before we left for the dance. I almost called the whole thing off. Total tantrum. This is when the house of cards collapsed.  Damn.


Create Dad Day Video for E.



Meantime, Audrey had Daisy Girl Scouts and a ferry boat ride to earn a badge. What is with all the flippin' badges!?

Olivia had piano lessons.

Both girls tried out, were called back and were then cast for Annie the Musical to run in December.

Beach Day festivities on the last day of school.

And I got a new hair treatment that I had to live with for three days --hair stuck to my head. oof. But, it should smooth out this frizz and spare me the routine of blowdry, heat roll, and flat iron beause who has time!? This could be a life changer. ;)

So here's the deal. All of the above I really enjoy. Well, almost all. And those things that I don't I am planning to be done with.

Here's the thing. As I've shared--I am black and white. All or nothing. Passionate--when I love something and when I abhor something.

I really can say No. I just don't want to. It all sounds fun. Plus, I thrive on challenge and dinging the bell, getting the carrot, and feeling very accomplished at day's end.

But, this does not really feed my family all the time--literally and figuratively. Or me.

So this summer I am changing my ways. I am refocusing.

Homeowners Association--does not thrill me. Bye, bye. Paid my dues. No longer someone who lives here without getting involved. Been there, done that.

3 year old Sunday School Teaching--not sure if this is where my focus needs to be now either. I really wanted my girls to learn empathy and work with these children (they were co-teachers) but it's been two years and there are others out there we could help. Or maybe we can just come to church for 1.5 hours instead of 3 those days

Brighton School- Yes to handling their  PR. Yes to PTO Presidency. Yes to Hospitality Committee. Not sure about Room Parent. As for add on committees-- don't think so. Happy to bring in goldfish crackers, apple juice, or donate $ but do not need to organize the class bake sale to help bring in more mealworms...

My children, husband, dogs, business, family and friendships are enough for now. And they need me. Which is perhaps what this is really all about afterall.

Must dash--this little sleepy head just found me in my office. She is requesting OJ and a sewing project. Sounds divine.




3 comments:

fiona said...

FINALLY!

I have been trying to leave comments but have had no joy since my account seem to only let me sign as an anonymous poster and what fun would that be? ;-)

Loving the new camera and new found "focus". You should do one of those 365 photo blogs and capture one special daily image (like you have the time!?) but I really like how this lens is showcasing the talent of your camera eye, which is shining through the photos you have been taking.

I'm glad you are scaling back on commitments that suck energy. Some are inevitable but others can be kicked to the curb, particularly if they don't feed your soul. Others? Well, I think you have given mightily so you've paid your dues.

My mantra this summer is no stress (ha!) but what it means is that I'm not going to beat myself if I DO get stressed, or overwhelmed or just plain don't feel like it. We're all just a work in progress but I sincerely wish you a restful summer of peace, joy and happy memories.

Carrie

Katie said...

Oh, this is great feedback. I love and appreciate it all but the final paragraph REALLY resonates. Let's hold eachother to it, yes? And perhaps we should make a pact about what committees we join (or our friends nominate us for--still cannot believe I did that to you!) shame..
Much love and thanks for the comment. makes my day!

Katie said...

and sister carrie--so flattered about your 365 blog idea. i was thinking of snapping some day in the life photos and maybe i will do so for a blog. love it! thanks again...