There, I said it. I know how inappropriate it is and I know that I am clearly not radiating sunshine when I make such a proclamation but I said it. And now I hope I can let it go. Well, let me first rant and then I will let it go. Dear reader, you can stop now if I cause offense but otherwise you're on your own because I need to get.this. out.
Most of the time it is NOT the other kids so let me state that upfront so as not to offend ANY of you. Truly, no harm intended.
Today it's MY kid. Audrey to be exact. Didn't want to share her bike helmet with her friend and in turn threw a fit when I declared how that is not kind or appropriate. Just told me off, stuck her tongue out and SCREAMED at me throughout the neighborhood. Total meltdown and no reasoning was working. At least twenty minutes of pure freak out following me through the neighborhood as her friend and I attempted to ignore her---walking the dogs, riding the scooter, greeting the neighbors. ugh.
I am still "healing" from a debilitating migraine yesterday afternoon that left me without proper speech and vision and naturally sidelined me for a handful of hours. Thankfully I mended quickly but the day after my episodes I tend to be left weak with a dull ache where the migraine eventually settled.
Back to playdates---I have learned (very slowly and after many, many mistakes) not to host them when I really need to get something done. Today I was simply going to balance our personal and my business check books. Could I afford to take the time away from clients to do it? No. Did I feel obligated to? Yes. Each afternoon at school pick-up one of the six darling girls in Audrey's class asks, "When can we have a playdate?" After six months of daily requests I finally caved in. Most of them stay at school until the evening hours as their moms work longer days. I see how brilliant that appears now...
So my deal with playdates-- I don't like being the clown at the circus. I think creating the cute lunches with all the bells and whistles (balanced meals of course to please mamas and kids) along with carting out the crayons, markers, paints, leggos, dress up dolls, cd player, toy pianos, books, and more should suffice. Nope--they want MORE dress-up clothes (and help putting them on) and they want something more to EAT. Constantly. How can a 40 pound kid be so damn hungry? All the time? Now, honestly, the eaters and the "needy" players are not my kids. At least HERE at home. I assume at your house my kids are as demanding as the next ones. (if you tell them "no" and then ask them if their mama would allow it --if they're being honest-- they will tell you unequivocaly NO). I heard Audrey today tell her friend in fact--"No, we can't get that out. We'll need my mom to help with it the whole time and she is busy." Phew--she is trained. somewhat. Truth be told I used to feel really guilty when my kids would say that--not any more I don't!
Back to playdate drama--
A recent "friend" of Liv's spent the afternoon snacking on at least 10-12 items and then was seen walking about the house in.my.slippers. I recall myself meek in the presence of my childhood friend's parents and certainly wouldn't be caught dead wearing their articles of clothing!
quick aside--
Honest to God--this little one visiting us now just approached me again and said ---"I'm still hungry." I am not kidding it's at least the 7th time she's said it. Help me out here--I fed her applesauce, an apple, almonds, TWO gogurts, carrots, banana, PB & J, veggie booty, water, and even sugared her up with Nerd candies she pulled out of the Halloween candy bin...come on--it's been 2 1/2 hours! I, by the way, have yet to eat my lunch and it's 3 p.m.
OK, must go get Liv from school and settle Audrey. Yes, the tantrum has been going on as I typed. The other child? Plunked in front of the TV? Guilt ridden--not a bit.
As for my check book balancing status? Not nearly done. Perhaps I can finish it up this evening as Audrey is drafting her apology letter to her playmate.
One final thing---I guess I should clarify my statement--I LOVE playdates --when I am not in charge or at least when the duty is shared. And there is beer. or at least a lot of yummy food. FOR THE PARENTS
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Playdates Suck
Posted by Katie at 2:32 PM
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7 comments:
It isn't play dates that suck. It's children.
LOL!!! I can totally relate. I didn't let Mac have playdates until late into first grade and J has only had a handful too.
When we have playdates, I usually tell the kids what is available to eat and drink, put it out on the counter and when it's gone, it's gone. And I make sure that I spend a good amount of time in my bedroom and my kids know that my bedroom is off limits to them and their friends, so no one comes and bugs me to help! They can do what they can get to with an occasional help with something in the garage if playing outside or signing onto the computer if playing Webkinz.
At some point when the kids were little I thought it might be fun to be the house where all the kids congregated with their friends, and I'd be the cool mom every kids wished they had. But I have since revised that thought. I'm sure to be the one they all avoid so as not to have to deal with the bitchy mom who tells them to "put their garbage away and don't they have stuff to eat at home and turn off the lights and turn the music down and no closed doors to your bedrooms, etc."??? Although I'm not looking forward to "can we go to the mall" playdates - I need a strategy for putting the kabash on those. Hang in there and you are always welcome to do a playdate over here, as long as you stay for a special mommies-only drink or two:)
How can you make me so simultaneously terrified and empowered!?
Who knew we'd have to be the social secretary for our kids? It drives me crazy too when the kids keep begging for more to eat. Usually it's my child wanting a "treat". Man, did I fall into a trap with the sweets.
Thank you Sista for putting into words what each of us moms feel (genearlly speaking) about play dates. I've not left my kids w/o me so can "enjoy" the paytime with the adults but it's NEVER relaxing as I'm always worried about who's doing what to whom and if that screech or cry is coming from one of mine.
I do know Ben asks daily when we can have a play date with Olivia! Something to get schedueld but I promise not to leave; in fact I'll bring goodies and mama drinks to share!
Be well my friend -
Nick
Thank you all for not being HORRIFIED at my candor. Glad there are so many that can relate! Sorry you've lived it to the same degree though. Mara- of course, I will do a JOINT date anytime! Mom in law leaves after April 4 so let's set it up. Great to see you Sat. oxox
Come on - play dates are fine - as long as they are at the OTHER kid's house!
I tend to toss them into the basement and ignore them. Call me irresponsible, but the arguing and whatnot that sometimes ensues is ignored by me, and they usually work it out. I am lucky - play dates here are usually with our neighbor, Heidi, who has been around Oliver since the age of four months. We've had some doozies, though - including the one with the shoe polish mishap. Use your imagination.
Hope you have recovered from both the headache and the play daye gone bad. So good to see you this morning!
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