Going Gray

“Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm” ~unknown

I am a true black and white person. All or Nothing. In or Out. Game as a badger or Not Showing Up.

Passionately LOVE something or great disinterest.
Content or freaking out.
Crank up the music or total silence.
Completely get something or pretty clueless.

Dishes done before bed.
Beds made before I leave the house.
Pressing phone call to return? I'll make it THEN (despite the cranky kids in the backseat or busy highway I am cruising down).

I guess I am more Black than White. Regardless, you get the picture.

Right now is a prime example. Dear Olivia is crooning to Wii Karaoke. She has a sweet voice and is on key for sure but I am trying to blog and I wish she would PIPE DOWN. The voices in my head are going nuts. This is a total silence time, sister! I could hide away in the office, climb in bed with my laptop, or even go sit in the car to escape the concert taking place in the family room a few rooms away. Or I could deal. It is taking A LOT of effort trust me. But I am doing it.

I have wanted to blog F-O-R-E-V-E-R (oh, the guilt!) but life keeps cropping up and my to do list is growing moment by moment. Last night I was gung ho (sp? I am not going to google it either! baby steps...) to make it happen. I have a handful of blog topics in the hopper. But then Audrey's darling toothless grin was in my face and Eric was playing all sorts of great music on iTunes and priority called--it was time for the Kitchen Dance Party. I turned off the computer and shimmied, bobbed, and pranced about the house. Sure, it was a Turn Up The Music moment but because I had not completed my "blog task" it was a lot of effort to join in. But I did it.

By the way-- I am FAILING miserably right now. Audrey has just returned from walking her babies in the rain and she and Olivia are now arguing over Wii Karaoke. I just yelled from the dining room, "I CAN NOT TAKE THIS RIGHT NOW GIRLS!" And I mean yelled. Damn...

Here are some other ways I am trying to enter the gray zone...I just made breakfast, got Audrey suited up for the walk in the rain, helped her load her babes in the carriage, bid her farewell and even snapped a pic. Meantime, the breakfast dishes are piled up, the to do list is overwhelming me but I sat down to blog even with other needs. That is gray for me. Did I mention I still have heat rollers in my hair --from an hour and a half ago?

OK, so in an effort to maintain some semblance of order I am going to dash. Stay tuned on my progress as this is nearly four decades of personality I am trying to "change". Plus Audrey has called for me from atop the stairs wondering if I can swaddle her baby, put on her necklace, and help her find her favorite markers.

The karaoke game ceased after my little explosion and the only sound I can hear quite loudly now is Fribble snoring. Which to be honest is a bit annoying as I ideally want TOTAL silence.

Did I mention I want a third dog? Seriously.