Unstable

Started this blog post more than a week ago and could not get it finished. Have a million things to do and can't get them all done. No clue what is holding me up, bogging me down, leaving me uninsipred. I am finally going to try to focus and at least complete a blog post. No real sense of direction with it right now but I am hopeful I will feel better when I've finished it. I think this will be a rant and a to do list of sorts so stop now if you're all ready bored OR if this crazy life reminds you too much of your own as you clearly don't need the reminder. Just know when it comes to this wild ride of life---I can relate!

Here goes~

April 12, 2009
I booked an impromptu mental health weekend for the family on a whim---it was in the middle of a very rainy spring break where my darling divas were going stir crazy, mom-in-law was in town and spent much of the visit sleeping late into the afternoon, watching me do Wii Fit (or anything else for that matter) and not bonding with my children. I was also working as was Eric. This weekend we took the much anticipated two day journey to Alderbrook Resort. The goal: reconnect and relax.


Reality

We were stuck in Britney Spears concert traffic and arrived several hours later than anticipated. We still managed to hit the indoor pool before it closed, enjoy a yummy microbrew, and walk around the grounds a bit.

So that's as far as I got with my post and here were some of the "notes" I typed to myself before I shut my computer down that evening.

skinny stay at home moms--work out? stress free

liv dialogue -cookie, skittles, bonk eric head, jump up and down, standing on her head (always, everywhere)


clients--SNL, Tyra Banks, introduction to Alicia Keyes


fly me to the moon-song on our first date, mix tapes, prince

Not sure any of it matters now or where I was even going with it. But I guess I'll try to make some sense of it.

The stay at home mom line was about the following--I wondered if I was a stay at home mom (not the kind who still has little ones at home to chase around and tend to but the kind who has older ones that they can send off to school and then have 6 hours to kill)--would I go to the gym and then would I finally be skinny? Would I be stress free if tending to my home, meals, spouse and kids needs were the primary focus as opposed to now---doing all those things plus having a business, TOO?

Liv's dialogue--as crazy as my brain is with its nonstop buzzing and seeking answers to inane questions it's not alone--Liv's brain is my brain's best friend. She is a whirlwind. If she is not telling me something about a Disney star, or a character in one of her books, or a class mate (and I believe much of what she is telling me is fabricated) than she is dancing, tumbling, bouncing, seeking sugar in the form of a cookie, candy, or ice cream or standing on her head. I had many tales to spin on the subject of lively Liv but we'll leave it at this for now...

Clients--they're a handful. In an effort not to speak out of school or appear ungrateful (or disrespectful) I will just state this--I have a client who thinks he should be on Oprah, Tyra Banks, and Saturday Night Live for starters. And he'd like to appear on those shows with Alicia Keyes. Naturally. He also thinks President Obama, Magic Johnson, Bill Cosby, and Connie Chung need to know about him. Oh, and Angelina Jolie. Seriously. That's just one of k PR's clients--there are ten others and a handful of prospects who keep me on my toes with similar "desires"...

Fly me to the moon--on the day that I sat down to blog there was a late afternoon sunburst and so I grabbed my iPod and Frib the dog and headed out for a much needed escape/walk. Fly Me to The Moon was the first song that came on my iPod. It was the song that was sang to Eric and me on our first date, played by the Michigan State marching band at my wedding proposal, and the song we performed a choreographed dance to on our wedding day. That song was followed by dozens of others lovingly selected just for me from dear Eric. It was a magical walk.

So--here I sit feeling better already as I am accomplishing something--a blog post.

Yesterday I really began to wipe some things from my to do list actually (did all this with kids in tow and about 4 hours--truth be told, they can really SHINE these girls 'o mine!)--I had to go to my former dentist after meeting with my new dentist (former dentist stopped carrying our insurance) anyway--the new dentist came up with all sorts of things I "had" to have done on my "treatment plan". I never need to have anything done at the dentist so I left feeling deflated and overwhelmed. I know, get a grip. I'm telling you--something has been up with me as of late. Anyway, I took my treatment plan to the old dentist guy who did all sorts of checks and even took an Xray and told me I was FINE and did not need to have a thing done. He saved me hundreds of dollars, stress, and dental work. Phew. But--what's up with the new dentist? not pleased.

Meantime I had about 8 items of business I needed to review with our health insurance company--I dread calling them so I tend to let the "needs" pile up. Come to find out--two of the bils were co-pay charges that already were paid at the time of visit so those were disregarded, another bill was actually a double billing from Eric's podiatrist so the insurance company is now fighting it out with them, we had a credit for $3.96 on another...all in all I wound up not owing a thing and since I made the call I saved at least $300. sweet.

My sunroof won't go back all the way all of a sudden and the rear brake light is out AGAIN--dear service man at Magic Toyota repaired the bulb in minutes and I was on my way. Made the appt. for the sunroof. check.

As he repaired the sunroof I had a heart to heart about Olivia's gymnastics and "team" outlook with her coach. Is this child really ready for 9 hours of training a week? AM I?

Hit the supplement store and grilled another employee about my cocktail of supplements and wondered if there is anything I am missing. Did find a daily holistic migraine pill that I have started popping...

Picked out a new front door--dutch door, great "Baldwin Couture" knob/bolt/latch along with a new French door with red paint for my office and talked to the contractor about working on our deck. Submitted paperwork to the neighborhood "Architectural Association" and am getting push back. Did I mention I am the President of the Homeowners Association? Give me a break.

Got on the phone with Delta Airlines (been working on them since Dec. when my mom-in-law couldn't get here for the holidays due to the weather). After 4 months of rescheduling her trip (only to have to cancel again), purchasing her a new ticket and having her come for her bday, I finally got word yesterday that they are refunding our money. Yes, I am a dog with a bone. I love when it works out.

As I sat on the phone I did order a darling puzzle from Photoshop for my mom for Mother's Day (it's a puzzle made out of a picture of the girls--too cute).

In the middle of all the bustle the past week I had a migraine (no kidding) and was sidelined for a day, panicked that I was dying of several things, was way too uptight with my kids, made Eric desire to be at WORK rather than HOME (yes, he vocalized this--don't blame him a bit) and had little patience with one of my dear brothers when I asked them to send me 15 things about why they loved our mom since I am doing a mother's day book for her reflecting her 46 years of mamahood.

But, today is a new day and I am making strides for sure...

Need to book two hotel rooms, rent a car, send a client a bday gift, send friends in Ohio an engagement gift, and get a gift for a new bride/groom, sign the girls up for swim lessons, mail the mom's day gift, count my blessings, breathe, and exercise. Right.

The sun is out and Eric asked me out on a date this weekend just because (it made me melt). I think I might grab Frib, my iPod, and pop on one of my mixes from my prince which always feeds my soul. But first, I must feed the girls, check Olivia's math homework and get her off to gymnastics---

Lastly, I asked Eric to describe himself in one word yesterday. Sleepy.
I then asked him to describe me. Anxious. I would have said "unstable". I'll take anxious, though, as it sounds much better. One day I'd love the answer to be "peaceful".